Today I Choose to be Proportioned – How to be Proportioned

For most of my life, I lived in extremes. I overworked, overcommitted, and overgave—always leaning too hard in one direction and wondering why I felt so off-kilter.

Work meant 70-hour weeks until collapse. Recovery meant complete withdrawal. Exercise meant obsessive daily routines or nothing for months. Diet meant perfect compliance or eating cereal for dinner while standing over the sink.

Proportion, to me, was something you applied to recipes or clothing sizes, not life.

The Breaking Point of Imbalance

I lived like a pendulum, swinging wildly between too much and not enough, never finding that sweet spot in the middle. My pattern was predictable and exhausting:

• Work myself into the ground for three months
• Crash completely, unable to function for a week
• Feel guilty about the crash, overcompensate with more work
• Pour everything into others until I’m empty
• Hide from everyone to desperately refill
• Feel guilty about hiding, emerge to over-give again

The worst part? I thought this was normal. I thought proportion meant weakness, that balance was for people who couldn’t handle intensity. I wore my extremes like badges of honor. “I worked until 3 AM!” “I haven’t taken a day off in two months!” “I’m handling everything!”

Until I wasn’t.

The crash came during a particularly intense period—CFO duties for 18 companies, Curtis recovering from his health crisis, trying to launch Enlightenzz, maintaining the house, being everything to everyone. I woke up one Tuesday and literally couldn’t get out of bed. Not wouldn’t—couldn’t. My body had staged a coup.

Finding Balance After 50

But somewhere along the way, especially after 50, I started to realize that being proportioned wasn’t about perfection—it was about balance.

The shift came gradually. My corporate CFO job still demanded long hours, but instead of letting it consume me completely, I began giving equal weight to what fed me: Enlightenzz. Writing in the evenings, designing, creating—these weren’t hobbies I squeezed in when everything else was done. They became counterbalances, non-negotiable parts of my day that gave it proportion.

The math was revolutionary in its simplicity:

• 8 hours of spreadsheets needed 2 hours of creative writing
• A day of difficult meetings required an evening of painting
• A week of compliance work demanded a weekend of designing
• Giving to others all day meant taking for myself at night
• Mental intensity needed physical movement
• Serious required silly

The difference was palpable. Instead of swinging wildly between exhaustion and escape, I began to feel steady. Not because life suddenly became easier, but because the pieces of it finally held their right relationship to each other.

The Physical Experience of Being Proportioned

Living proportioned feels different in your body:

• Shoulders that stay below your ears instead of camping there
• Sleep that actually restores instead of being collapse
• Energy that sustains through the day instead of spiking and crashing
• Mood that varies within a range instead of dramatic swings
• Appetite that signals actual hunger, not stress or boredom
• Breath that flows naturally instead of being held or gasped

My body stopped alternating between wired and depleted. It found a middle ground I didn’t know existed.

How to Be Proportioned Without Perfect Balance

That’s the heart of being proportioned—it’s about making sure no one piece of your life overwhelms the whole. It doesn’t mean everything is equal; it means everything has its rightful place.

Identify Your Extremes

Start by naming where you swing:

• Where do you over-give? (time, energy, emotion, money)
• Where do you under-invest? (self-care, relationships, joy)
• What patterns repeat? (work/crash, give/hide, rigid/chaotic)
• What triggers your swings? (guilt, fear, expectation)

For me: I over-gave at work and under-invested in creativity. I swung between people-pleasing and hermiting. Guilt triggered my over-giving; exhaustion triggered my withdrawal.

Create Counterweights

For every heavy, add a light:

If work is analytical, add something creative
If days are structured, add spontaneous evenings
If giving is constant, schedule receiving
If serious dominates, inject playful
If social overwhelms, protect solitude
If isolation creeps, force connection

These aren’t luxuries—they’re necessities for proportion.

Right-Size Your Responses

Not everything deserves maximum energy:

• Not every problem needs crisis-level response
• Not every request deserves immediate attention
• Not every slight warrants deep hurt
• Not every opportunity requires saying yes
• Not every mistake needs excessive apology
• Not every success demands perfection

Learning to calibrate response to actual importance, not perceived urgency, changed everything.

The Daily Practice of Proportion

Every morning, I check my proportions like checking tire pressure:

Morning Proportion Check

• What dominated yesterday?
• What got neglected?
• What needs more weight today?
• What needs less?
• Where am I swinging toward extreme?

Midday Adjustment

At lunch, I recalibrate. If the morning was all spreadsheets, I take a walk. If it was all people, I take solitude. If it was all serious, I watch chicken videos (don’t judge).

Evening Rebalance

Before bed, I ensure the day had proportion. If work dominated, I write. If I gave too much, I take a bath. If I isolated, I text a friend.

Small adjustments prevent major swings.

Proportion in Different Life Seasons

Proportion isn’t static. It shifts with circumstances:

During Curtis’s Health Crisis

• Family got 60% weight
• Work got maintenance mode (30%)
• Self-care got scraps (10%)

This was the right proportion for that season.

During Year-End at Work

• Work gets 60% weight
• Enlightenzz gets early mornings only (20%)
• Everything else gets minimum viable (20%)

This proportion has an expiration date.

During Creative Bursts

• Writing gets 50% weight
• Work gets competent delivery (30%)
• Housework gets “nobody will die” standard (20%)

This proportion feeds my soul.

The Indicators of Disproportion

My body tells me when proportions are off:

• Resentment = giving too much
• Anxiety = taking on too much
• Numbing = avoiding too much
• Snapping at Curtis = stretched too thin
• Living on coffee and spite = running on empty
• Everything feels urgent = lost perspective
• Nothing brings joy = soul starvation

These aren’t character flaws—they’re proportion alarms.

The Courage Required for Proportion

It takes courage to live proportioned in a world that celebrates extremes. People understand “I’m swamped” better than “I’m maintaining balance.” They respect burnout more than boundaries.

Saying “I need to leave at 5 to write” feels selfish.
Taking lunch walks seems lazy.
Having energy at day’s end appears suspicious.
Not being exhausted reads as not caring enough.

But at 61, I’ve learned that proportion is not about doing less—it’s about doing things in right relationship to each other. My CFO work is better when balanced by creative work. My creative work is better when grounded by analytical work. Each makes the other possible.

The Compound Effect of Proportion

Living proportioned for even six months created cumulative benefits:

• Sustained energy instead of boom-bust cycles
• Consistent creativity instead of sporadic bursts
• Stable mood instead of emotional whiplash
• Better decisions from clearer perspective
• Stronger relationships from consistent presence
• Improved health from regular self-care

Proportion compounds like interest—small daily balances create major life dividends.

When Proportion Feels Impossible

Some days, proportion feels laughable. Deadlines collide, crises emerge, everything becomes urgent. On these days, I practice “micro-proportions”:

• 5 minutes of deep breathing in bathroom
• 30-second dance break between calls
• One paragraph written at lunch
• Three minutes looking at sky
• One text to a friend

Tiny proportions maintain the practice until bigger balance returns.

Your Invitation to Proportion

Whatever feels overwhelming in your life right now, ask yourself: What would bring this into proportion? Not what would eliminate it, but what would balance it?

Maybe your work needs the counterweight of play.
Maybe your giving needs the balance of receiving.
Maybe your seriousness needs levity.
Maybe your chaos needs structure.
Maybe your noise needs silence.

Start small. Add one proportioning element. If work dominates, add 15 minutes of something that feeds you. If caretaking consumes, claim one hour for yourself. If worry overwhelms, schedule five minutes of gratitude.

These seem like tiny adjustments, but proportion is powerful. The right counterweight can balance enormous loads. The right proportion can transform exhaustion into energy, overwhelm into flow, survival into thriving.

When you live proportioned, you stop letting one area define you, and you start finding harmony in how all the parts fit together.

That’s the magic of being proportioned—not doing less, but doing everything in right relationship. Not perfect balance, but conscious calibration. Not equal parts, but appropriate portions.

And in that proportion, finding not just balance, but harmony. Not just survival, but sustainable thriving. Not just getting through, but genuinely living.

Even if it means leaving at 5 when others stay till 8. Even if it means writing when you “should” be cleaning. Even if it means being the only one not exhausted at the meeting.

Especially then.