Today I Choose to be Lavish – How to be Lavish

The True Meaning of How to Be Lavish

When people hear the word lavish, they often think of money—designer clothes, expensive trips, over-the-top indulgence. But I’ve learned that lavishness isn’t about reckless spending. It’s about pouring intention so generously into something that the experience itself feels extravagant.

For me, that lesson came with one of Curtis’s bucket-list dreams: fishing at Casa Vieja in Guatemala. It was a trip he had talked about for years, and I wanted to make it happen. So we packed up, boarded a plane, and made the journey. The reality was less glamorous than the dream: bulletproof vans from the airport, smog-choked valleys, families piled onto scooters weaving through traffic, and the jarring sight of razor wire and armed guards protecting the resort.

But once we were inside, the experience was lavish in a different way. Not because of luxury, but because of intention. I wanted Curtis to feel the thrill of his dream fulfilled, to forget the hardship of the past few years, to know how deeply I cared. Out on the boat, watching him cast into turquoise waters, I saw that intention come alive. His smile, his peace, his joy—that was the lavish gift.

That trip taught me that lavishness isn’t about the price tag. It’s about the care, thought, and devotion you pour into creating an experience for someone you love. And sometimes, the most lavish thing you can give isn’t money at all—it’s the memory of being cherished.

Redefining Lavish Living

Learning how to be lavish requires unlearning everything our culture teaches us about extravagance. We’re conditioned to equate lavish with expensive, excessive, over-the-top. But true lavishness has nothing to do with cost and everything to do with intention, attention, and care.

Research from Dr. Elizabeth Dunn shows that experiential gifts create more lasting happiness than material ones, but her studies reveal something even more important: the thought behind the gift matters more than the gift itself. A carefully chosen $20 experience can feel more lavish than a carelessly chosen $200 object.

That Guatemala trip wasn’t lavish because of the expensive fishing lodge or the international flights. It was lavish because every detail was chosen with Curtis’s happiness in mind. The lavishness was in the attention, the planning, the desire to give him something that would create lasting joy.

The Psychology of Generous Intention

When we give lavishly—whether it’s our time, attention, or resources—something remarkable happens in both the giver and receiver. Neuroscientist Dr. Jorge Moll’s research shows that generous behavior activates the same reward centers as receiving unexpected money or eating delicious food.

But giving lavishly does more than make us feel good—it creates what psychologists call “elevation” in others. When someone experiences unexpected generosity, kindness, or thoughtfulness, it inspires them to be more generous themselves. Lavishness begets lavishness.

Watching Curtis’s face light up as he cast his line into those Guatemalan waters, I felt the particular joy that comes from giving someone exactly what they needed, exactly when they needed it. The lavishness wasn’t in what we spent—it was in the overflow of care that made it possible.

How to Be Lavish Without Money

The most lavish experiences often cost very little or nothing at all. They’re lavish with time, attention, creativity, or effort rather than cash. Here’s what real lavishness looks like:

Lavish Attention: In our distracted world, giving someone your complete, undivided attention is extraordinarily lavish. Put away your phone. Make eye contact. Listen deeply. This kind of presence is rarer and more valuable than expensive gifts.

Lavish Thoughtfulness: Remember what matters to people. Notice their preferences, their dreams, their struggles. Create experiences based on their interests, not your assumptions about what’s impressive.

Lavish Time: Don’t rush meaningful moments. Take the long way. Linger over conversations. Create spaciousness around experiences that matter. Time is the ultimate luxury, and giving it generously is the ultimate lavishness.

Lavish Effort: Sometimes lavishness means doing things the hard way because it creates more meaning. Handwritten letters instead of texts. Home-cooked meals instead of restaurant gift cards. Personal touches that show thought and care.

The Art of Lavish Experiences

Creating lavish experiences requires understanding that people remember how they felt more than what they received. The Guatemala trip could have been “just” a fishing vacation, but the intention behind it—the desire to fulfill Curtis’s dream, to create a perfect escape from recent difficulties—transformed it into something lavish.

Dr. Maya Angelou captured this perfectly: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” Lavishness is about creating feelings—of being cherished, celebrated, deeply known, and generously loved.

This means paying attention to details that others might overlook. It means considering not just what someone would enjoy, but when, how, and why they would enjoy it most. It means creating experiences that feel tailored specifically for them.

Lavish Self-Care

Being lavish isn’t only about what you give to others—it’s also about how you treat yourself. This doesn’t mean expensive spa days or designer clothes (though if those bring you joy and you can afford them, wonderful). It means being generous with yourself in ways that truly nourish.

Lavish self-care might mean taking a long bath without feeling guilty about the water bill. It might mean buying the good coffee or the beautiful notebook that makes you smile. It might mean saying no to obligations that drain you and yes to activities that fill you up.

Sometimes the most lavish thing you can give yourself is permission—permission to rest when you’re tired, to pursue interests others don’t understand, to prioritize your own well-being without justification.

The Ripple Effects of Living Lavishly

When you live lavishly—pouring generous intention into experiences and relationships—you don’t just change individual moments. You change the entire culture around you. People begin to expect more thoughtfulness, more care, more attention to what really matters.

Those weddings in my backyard that I mentioned in other stories? They happened because we’d been lavish with our hospitality over the years. Not expensive lavish, but generous lavish—always making room, always paying attention to what would make people feel welcomed and cherished.

When Resources Are Limited

The beauty of understanding true lavishness is that it becomes accessible regardless of your financial situation. Some of my most lavish memories involve very little money but enormous amounts of care, creativity, and attention.

During leaner years, I learned to be lavish with things that cost nothing: time spent listening, effort put into making ordinary meals special, attention paid to creating beautiful moments from simple ingredients. Lavishness is a choice, not a purchase.

The key is focusing on what you can give abundantly rather than what you can’t afford. Maybe you can’t buy expensive gifts, but you can give your full presence. Maybe you can’t fund elaborate vacations, but you can create meaningful experiences closer to home.

Your Permission to Be Lavish

You don’t need wealth to live lavishly—you need generosity of spirit. You don’t need perfect circumstances—you need willingness to pour care and intention into the circumstances you have.

Today, choose to be lavish. Look for opportunities to give generously—whether it’s your time, attention, effort, or resources. Create experiences that make people feel cherished. Pay attention to what would bring joy to someone you care about, then make it happen in whatever way you can.

Remember that the most lavish gift you can give anyone is the feeling of being deeply known and genuinely cared for. That doesn’t require a trust fund—it requires a generous heart and the willingness to pay attention to what really matters.

Sometimes the most lavish thing you can offer is simply showing up fully for the people and moments that matter. And that kind of lavishness is available to everyone, every day, in ways both small and profound.