Today I Choose to be Ascended – When Enlightenment Meets Real Life (And Your Surgeon Has Tears in His Eyes)

I thought I was enlightened. Really, I did.

Sitting in that Wayne Dyer lecture hall, having driven myself there because my boyfriend was too busy cheating on me to accompany me (found out on the way there – timing is everything), I genuinely believed I was spiritually evolved. I’d read the books. All 118 of them. I meditated. I journaled. I was basically Buddha in business attire.

Then Wayne Dyer started talking about his writing process – how intentional his space was, how he set his intention before ever touching the typewriter, how words flowed from the universe through him.

With each sentence, I realized how spectacularly unenlightened I was. Here I sat, freshly betrayed, thinking my book collection equaled ascension. That’s like thinking owning running shoes makes you a marathoner.

The Science of Rising Above (Without the Fluff)

Here’s what’s actually happening in our brains: Harvard Medical School research shows that after 50, we develop increased connectivity between the prefrontal cortex and amygdala. Translation: we literally get better at not losing our shit over small stuff.

The study revealed that women over 50 who actively practice mindfulness show significantly higher gamma brain waves – associated with heightened consciousness. But here’s the contrarian truth: Real ascension isn’t about chasing gamma waves or posting sunrise yoga photos on Instagram.

It’s about what happens when your husband’s surgeon looks at you with tears in his eyes and says, “I can’t promise you that.”

The Moment Everything Actually Ascended

Curtis was supposed to be in the hospital for three days. Simple procedure. Instead, he went septic, ended up in the ICU fighting for his life, and his surgeon – a man who does this every day – had tears in his eyes when I asked if my husband would be okay.

In that moment, I started praying. Not the “please fix this” kind of prayer, but something deeper. The longer I prayed, the more a feeling settled into me – despite all facts to the contrary – that everything would be all right.

It was surrender. Not giving up, but giving over. Rising above the chaos not through spiritual bypassing or positive thinking, but through accepting what I couldn’t control while standing firm in what I could.

That’s ascension. Not the Instagram version. The real one.

Why Nobody Wakes Up to Shit in Your Wheaties

Before Curtis’s near-death experience, little things would ruin my day. My boss Al (combination Eeyore and Chicken Little) would use his stress tone, and I’d spiral. Someone would cut me off in traffic, and I’d carry that anger for hours.

Now? I’ve embraced a philosophy I’ve always had but finally embodied: Nobody actually wakes up thinking, “How can I shit in Susie’s Wheaties today?” They’re just busy taking care of themselves and accidentally hurt your feelings.

Al still has his tone. He still texts “FML” before 7 AM. But it no longer penetrates my peace. That’s not enlightenment – that’s perspective born from almost losing everything that matters.

The Unascended Truth About Beauty and Aging

Want to know the most unascended thing about me? I struggle with getting older. When I was younger, I was very attractive, and that was a huge part of my persona. From 40 forward, my looks started changing, and at first, I fought it hard – creams, Botox, dressing like a much younger woman.

None of it fit. I looked like I was wearing a costume of my former self.

Then I noticed something in old photos: I’ve always smiled with my eyes. Those lines I was trying to erase? They’ve always been there, just not as pronounced. They’re lovely evidence of a joyful life, not flaws to be fixed.

I changed my wardrobe – not to frumpy, just to appropriate. Changed my makeup approach. Started appreciating what my face says about my life rather than mourning what it no longer says about my youth.

That’s ascension too – rising above shallow definitions of self to find something real underneath.

The Science Supports What Life Teaches

Research shows that post-menopausal women often experience increased intuition and clarity of purpose. Dr. Christiane Northrup found that hormonal changes, while challenging, can enhance our capacity for spiritual and emotional growth.

Our nervous systems become more refined with age, allowing for subtler perceptions. We develop superior pattern recognition and emotional intelligence compared to younger cohorts.

In other words, science confirms what that ICU surrender taught me: We’re biologically primed for ascension after 50. Not the surface-level, Instagram-worthy kind, but the real deal – rising above petty concerns to focus on what matters.

The Tao of Wheaties: Real Ascension Principles

As the Tao Te Ching suggests, once you put words to it, you’ve missed it. But here’s my attempt anyway:

1. Ascension Through Subtraction Less Botox, more smile lines. Less controlling, more surrendering. Less Instagram spirituality, more real-life wisdom.

2. The Wheaties Philosophy When someone’s difficult, remember: They’re not targeting your breakfast. They’re just messy humans doing messy human things.

3. Evidence-Based Joy Those lines on your face? Evidence of laughter. That trauma you survived? Evidence of strength. That prayer in the ICU? Evidence of faith deeper than circumstances.

4. Practical Transcendence You don’t need a mountaintop to ascend. You can rise above Al’s tone while answering emails. You can find peace in hospital corridors. You can discover enlightenment in the mirror, appreciating evidence of joy instead of fighting time.

The Instagram Illusion vs. ICU Reality

I rarely look at Instagram anymore. At first it was novel, entertaining. Then I realized most of it was just noise designed to capture attention. All these posts about spirituality and ascension – pretty quotes over sunset photos, perfectly staged meditation corners, choreographed authenticity.

Real ascension happens in ICU waiting rooms. In mirrors where you choose to see evidence of joy instead of age. In moments when you realize your boyfriend’s cheating freed you to hear Wayne Dyer alone. In the decision to stop trying to dress like your younger self and find beauty in who you’ve become.

Your Unascended Ascension Practice

Week 1: The Wheaties Check When someone irritates you, ask: “Are they purposely targeting my breakfast, or just being human?” Notice how this shifts your response.

Week 2: Evidence Hunting Look for evidence of your life well-lived. Smile lines = joy evidence. Scars = survival evidence. Gray hair = wisdom evidence.

Week 3: Subtraction Practice What are you doing to appear enlightened that’s actually keeping you from ascension? Subtract one surface thing to find something real underneath.

Week 4: Surrender Experiment Find one thing you’re white-knuckling. Practice the ICU prayer – not asking for control, but for peace despite circumstances.

The Truth About Rising

Being ascended at 60 isn’t about achieving some mystical state. It’s about integrating accumulated wisdom with present-moment awareness. It’s about rising above not through spiritual bypassing but through spiritual honesty.

I’m not enlightened. I struggle with aging. I occasionally get annoyed when Al texts “FML” at dawn. I definitely enjoyed the karma of my cheating ex missing that Wayne Dyer talk.

But I’ve ascended above the small stuff. Not through perfection, but through perspective. Not through controlling outcomes, but through surrendering to what is while working with what’s possible.

Those Harvard researchers are right – our brains are primed for this after 50. But the real ascension happens in life’s corridors, not meditation cushions. In choosing smile lines over Botox. In finding peace when surgeons can’t make promises. In knowing that today’s Wheaties are safe because everyone else is too busy with their own breakfast to bother with yours.

That’s how to be ascended. Not up in the clouds, but firmly planted on earth with perspective that lets you rise above the noise to what matters.

Even if you’re sitting alone at a spiritual lecture because your boyfriend’s busy cheating. Especially then. Because sometimes ascension looks like realizing you’re exactly where you need to be, even when you thought you were already there.

Join our community of women who’ve found ascension in unlikely places – ICU corridors, bathroom mirrors, or Wayne Dyer lectures attended solo. Share your most unascended moment of enlightenment below.

P.S. To anyone currently shitting in someone’s Wheaties: They know it’s not personal. Probably.