Today I Choose to be Animated – How to be Animated

How to Be Animated: Why This Gregarious Introvert Stopped Trying So Hard

“The place where a choir of angels sing when I walk through the door!”

My husband Curtis stared at me for a split second during our Password game, then shouted “MACY’S!” The room erupted in laughter and cheers.

Twenty minutes earlier, I’d been in the lobby of this Game Show networking event, internally dying. Curtis, a gregarious extrovert who thrives on socializing, had been buzzing with excitement. Me? I’m what I call a gregarious introvert – I can bring the energy, but only for so long before I need to recharge internally. The thought of being “on” for hours of competitive party games with mortgage professionals made me want to fake a sudden illness.

But here I was, screaming clues at my husband, having accidentally discovered something important about being animated after 50: It’s not about maintaining constant perkiness. It’s about knowing when to unleash your authentic energy.

The Exhausting Lie of Perpetual Perkiness

Everything you’ve been told about how to be animated might be backwards. We’re supposed to be “on” all the time – matching others’ energy, maintaining enthusiasm, being the life of the party. For women especially, there’s this unspoken pressure to be perpetually perky, eternally upbeat, constantly engaging.

Last Tuesday, while waiting in line at the grocery store, I overheard two women discussing how tired they were of maintaining the “perpetually perky” persona expected in their workplace. I wanted to turn around and hug them. At 60, working 10-12 hour days from home managing 18 companies, the idea of being constantly animated makes me want to crawl under my desk.

Here’s the contrarian truth: The most engaging women I know aren’t the ones bouncing off walls. They’re the ones who know when to be still and when to shine.

The Game Show Revelation

Back to that networking event. Curtis had been voluntold us for everything, raising his hand while I practiced my best “please God, don’t pick me” invisibility cloak. First up: the quiz game where you slam colored buttons to answer trivia.

Curtis went first. I found myself shouting answers at him before he could even process the questions. Where did that come from? Then my turn – I killed it. Suddenly, I wasn’t performing animation; I was genuinely animated by competition and knowledge.

Then came Password. Curtis was guessing while I gave clues for “Things you might find in New York.” We were crushing it until we hit “Rats.”

“Large mice,” I said. “Mices,” he responded. Reader, I died a little inside.

But when I needed him to guess “Macy’s” and blurted out the choir of angels line? That wasn’t me trying to be animated. That was pure, authentic me – a New Yorker who genuinely feels celestial intervention in that store.

The Power of Strategic Animation

Here’s what I’ve learned as a gregarious introvert: Being animated isn’t about constant energy output. It’s about strategic deployment of your authentic self.

In my leadership meetings, passionate people occasionally yell. (Okay, more than occasionally.) While they’re bouncing off walls, I stay quiet and firm. Once the dust settles, my measured “Okay, let’s refocus on the actual issue here” commands more attention than if I’d tried to out-yell them.

At another networking event – a Christmas party where I knew almost no one – I tried a different approach. Instead of forcing perkiness, I confessed to someone: “I’m really an introvert, so this isn’t my comfort zone.”

“Me too!” they said, relief flooding their face.

That authentic admission led to several deep, meaningful conversations that night. No performing required – just genuine connection.

Why Getting Older Makes Animation Easier (And Weirder)

Here’s the beautiful paradox: As I’ve gotten older, I’m more inclined to embrace moments of silliness or being larger than life than when I was younger and worried what everyone thought.

At 30, I would have been mortified to shout about angelic choirs in Macy’s. At 60? That’s just Tuesday. The less I care about appearing “appropriately animated,” the more naturally animated I become.

When I’m genuinely engaged – like when I’m reconciling accounts or solving complex problems – I can work for 12 hours straight without exhaustion. Time flies because I’m fascinated, not because I’m performing fascination. That’s real animation: being so engaged that energy flows naturally.

The Gregarious Introvert’s Guide to Authentic Animation

1. Know Your Recharge Cycle I can be “on” for networking events, but I need quiet time afterward. Plan for both the performance and the recovery.

2. Find Your Natural Animation Triggers Mine include: competition (who knew?), problem-solving, and telling stories about my disasters. Yours might be completely different.

3. Use Strategic Stillness In a room full of high energy, being the calm one actually draws more attention. Let others exhaust themselves while you wait for your moment.

4. Lead with Authenticity “I’m an introvert at a networking event” connects better than fake enthusiasm ever could.

5. Embrace Age-Appropriate Animation At 60, I’m animated by different things than at 30. My “choir of angels” moment would have mortified younger me. Current me? Delighted by my own ridiculousness.

The Details Make the Difference

When I tell stories about my disasters (polyurethaned sock hands, anyone?), what makes them animated isn’t me jumping around or speaking in exclamation points. It’s the details – the way Jesse was simultaneously horrified and hysterical, how the Home Depot clerk couldn’t stop laughing, the hours spent peeling socks off my raw hands.

Animation comes from engagement, not energy expenditure.

Permission to Be Selectively Animated

Here’s your permission slip: You don’t have to be “on” all the time. You don’t have to match everyone else’s energy. You don’t have to be perky, peppy, or perpetually enthusiastic.

You can be a gregarious introvert who screams about Macy’s angels one minute and needs quiet computer time the next. You can command a room with stillness after others have exhausted themselves yelling. You can admit you’re uncomfortable and find your people through that vulnerability.

True animation isn’t about performance – it’s about knowing when your authentic self naturally lights up and giving that self permission to shine.

Your Animation Assignment

This week, try the contrarian approach:

1. Identify your natural animation triggers (What genuinely excites you without effort?)
2. Practice strategic stillness in one high-energy situation
3. Tell one detailed story focusing on specifics rather than energy
4. Admit one discomfort and see who connects with your honesty
5. Give yourself permission to recharge without guilt

Remember: The goal isn’t to become more animated. It’s to become more authentically yourself, animated in your own unique way.

Sometimes that’s screaming about heavenly choirs at Macy’s. Sometimes it’s quietly solving problems for 12 hours. Sometimes it’s both in the same day.

And if your spouse says “Mices” when you clearly said “mice”? Well, that’s just marriage, animated in all its imperfect glory.

Join our community of gregarious introverts and selective animators. Share your best “I accidentally became the life of the party” story below. Bonus points if it involves game shows, trivia disasters, or moments when your authentic weird emerged victorious.