I’m sitting in my home office at 6:23 AM, staring at a vision board I made three years ago. Half the things on it have happened (hello, Dutch pour art studio corner), and half seem as far away as they did when I hot-glued them to this cork board after two glasses of wine and a particularly inspiring episode of Super Soul Sunday.
Here’s the thing about visualization that nobody tells you when you’re 61: It works, but not the way those glossy self-help books promise. It’s messier, funnier, and involves a lot more talking to yourself in the bathroom mirror than you’d expect.
Let me tell you what actually happened when I started using visualization techniques – and spoiler alert, it wasn’t all peaceful meditation and immediate manifestation.
The Night I Discovered Visualization (By Accident)
Last year, Curtis was in the hospital. Again. I was sleeping in that torture device they call a chair-bed, listening to machines beep and trying not to completely lose my mind. At 2 AM, exhausted but unable to sleep, I started doing this thing where I pictured us at home, him healthy, making breakfast together on a Sunday morning.
I could see it so clearly – the way the morning light hits our kitchen, the sound of bacon sizzling, Curtis doing his terrible Sean Connery impression while flipping eggs. I even imagined the smell of coffee and felt the warmth of my favorite mug in my hands.
Was I trying to visualize? No. I was trying not to have a complete breakdown in room 513 of the ICU. But something shifted. My breathing slowed. My shoulders dropped from their permanent position next to my ears. And for the first time in days, I felt like maybe, just maybe, we’d get through this.
That’s when I realized: Visualization isn’t just woo-woo manifestation magic. It’s a survival tool.
How Visualization Actually Works (The Science Part)
Your brain is basically a drama queen that can’t tell the difference between what’s real and what you’re imagining vividly. When you visualize something in detail, your brain activates the same neural pathways as if you were actually doing it. Wild, right?
Studies from Stanford (and yes, I actually read them during one of my 3 AM insomnia research binges) show that mental practice can be almost as effective as physical practice. This works whether you’re visualizing success or working on your morning routine as physical practice. Athletes have known this forever. But here’s what they don’t tell you: It works for regular life stuff too.
When I visualize having a difficult conversation with my adult son, my actual conversation goes better. When I mentally rehearse a presentation for work, I don’t completely forget everything the moment I stand up. It’s like giving your brain a practice run without the real-world consequences.
My Weird But Effective Visualization Routine
Every morning, usually around 5:30 AM (because hello, menopause-induced early waking), I do what I call my “mental movie time.” Here’s what it actually looks like:
1. The Coffee Shop Visualization
While my coffee brews, I close my eyes and imagine myself at 75. I’m in a coffee shop (probably still drinking too much caffeine), and someone asks me about my life. I visualize telling them about all the things I’ve accomplished in the next 14 years.
Sometimes 75-year-old Susie has published three books. Sometimes she’s teaching art classes. Last week she had taken up salsa dancing, which made current-me laugh so hard I snorted coffee.
The point isn’t to nail down exact goals. It’s to feel what that future satisfaction feels like in my body. That warm, settled feeling of “I did the things that mattered to me.”
2. The Day Rehearsal
Before I check emails (the morning killer of all hope and dreams), I visualize my day going well. Not perfectly – that’s BS – but well.
I see myself handling that annoying client call with grace instead of grinding my teeth. I imagine actually remembering to eat lunch instead of surviving on crackers and spite. I visualize the 3 PM energy crash and see myself taking a walk instead of eating chocolate chips straight from the bag (though let’s be honest, sometimes the chocolate wins).
3. The Body Scan Success
This one’s weird but stick with me. I visualize my body working properly. After years of watching Curtis’s health struggles, I don’t take a functioning body for granted.
I imagine my joints moving smoothly (ignore the Rice Krispies sounds). I see my heart beating steadily. I visualize my hot flashes as power surges (okay, that one’s a stretch, but humor helps).
When Visualization Goes Wrong (Because It Does)
Let’s talk about the Pinterest-perfect vision board disaster of 2021. I spent an entire weekend creating this masterpiece. Magazine clippings, inspirational quotes, the works. It was gorgeous. It was aspirational. It was completely unrealistic.
I had pictured myself doing yoga on a beach at sunrise (I hate mornings and sand gets everywhere), writing in a minimalist white office (I’m a creative chaos person), and wearing linen pants without spilling coffee on them (has anyone in the history of linen achieved this?).
Three months later, I was miserable because nothing matched my vision board. That’s when I learned: Visualize the feeling, not the Instagram version.
Now my visualizations are more like: I see myself feeling creative and energized (whether that’s in my chaotic office or the kitchen table). Since starting Dutch pour art, I visualize colors flowing before I pour (whether that’s in my chaotic office or the kitchen table). I imagine feeling strong and flexible (whether that’s from yoga or dancing badly to 80s music while cleaning).
The Surprising Things That Happened
After three years of this practice, here’s what actually manifested:
- The Dutch pour art: I visualized being creative daily. I thought it would be writing, but it turned out to be making gloriously messy paintings that look like galaxies had too much wine.
- The business growth: I visualized feeling confident in meetings. What happened? I started speaking up more, which led to a promotion I didn’t even know I wanted.
- The relationship shifts: I visualized boundaries with my adult kids. As I wrote in my letter to my younger self, boundaries are everything. Result? I stopped being their emotional ATM, and surprisingly, our relationships got better.
- The health improvements: I visualized having energy. I didn’t lose 30 pounds or become a gym rat, but I started walking daily and actually drinking water (revolutionary, I know).
How to Start (Without Feeling Like an Idiot)
If you’re sitting there thinking “This sounds great, Susie, but I’ll feel like a complete fool talking to myself,” here’s how to start without the cringe factor:
1. Start in the shower
Nobody can hear you. The water’s running. Visualize one good thing happening that day. Just one. Maybe it’s your coffee being the perfect temperature. Start tiny.
2. Use your commute
Instead of doom-scrolling at red lights (don’t do that), visualize arriving at your destination feeling calm and prepared. I do this before family dinners, and it’s saved many a holiday.
3. The bedtime replay
Before sleep, replay the day but visualize how you wish you’d handled things. Not in a beat-yourself-up way, but in a “next time I’ll try this” way. It’s like giving your brain a do-over.
4. The photo prompt
Keep a photo on your phone of something that represents what you want to feel. Mine is a picture of Curtis and me laughing at something stupid. It reminds me that those mood chemicals can be triggered by visualization too at something stupid. When I look at it, I visualize more moments like that.
The Reality Check
Visualization isn’t magic. I can’t visualize away my property taxes or make my knee stop making that weird clicking sound. Curtis’s health issues didn’t disappear because I imagined them away.
But here’s what it does do: It changes how you show up.
When you visualize handling something well, you’re more likely to actually handle it well. When you mentally rehearse success (whatever that means for you), your brain starts looking for opportunities to make it happen.
It’s like programming your internal GPS. You might take detours, hit traffic, or need to stop for gas (or chocolate), but you’re more likely to end up somewhere in the vicinity of where you wanted to go.
Your Turn (Yes, You)
Tonight, before you scroll through your phone one more time, try this: Close your eyes and visualize tomorrow morning going well. Not perfect. Well.
See yourself waking up without immediately thinking “oh shit, what fresh hell is this?” Imagine your coffee tasting exactly right. Visualize one interaction going smoothly.
Feel silly? Good. That means you’re doing it right. All the best things in life feel a little silly at first.
What do you want to visualize into existence? And please tell me I’m not the only one who’s created a vision board after wine and woke up wondering why I glued a picture of a llama to it.
P.S. – That Sunday morning breakfast visualization from the hospital? It happened. Six months later, Curtis was home, healthy enough, and making his terrible eggs. The Sean Connery impression was even worse than I’d imagined. It was perfect.
