Today I Choose to be Appreciative – Finding Gratitude in Mold, Amway, and Avocado Bathrooms

Last year, Curtis and I spent two months thinking we had allergies. Sneezing, coughing, general misery. Then one day, I noticed copious amounts of green algae under the sliding glass door outside our master bathroom. (Yes, a sliding glass door in the bathroom. It’s 1978 architecture – where exactly were we supposed to go from the toilet?)

“WTF is this?” I called to Curtis.

He pressed on the vinyl wallpaper near the door – it gave way like wet cardboard. We kept pressing, discovering our entire south wall was waterlogged. Behind decades of latex paint and that delightful avocado green decor lurked a slow pipe leak and enough mold to explain our “allergies.”

The insurance company’s response? “Not covered. You should have known.”

Should have known? About a leak inside a wall? With my X-ray vision?

Here’s where it gets weird: After they dropped us (adding insult to injury), I found myself genuinely grateful. That $50,000 disaster forced me to finally demolish the 2×3 shower where Curtis’s shoulders touched both walls, the avocado tub, and that inexplicable sliding glass door.

The universe had literally rotted my wall to give me the bathroom I deserved.

If that sounds insane, welcome to the science of appreciation – where gratitude for disasters actually rewires your brain.

The Neuroscience of Finding Silver Linings in Moldy Walls

Research from Harvard Medical School shows that practicing gratitude can increase happiness levels by up to 25%. But here’s what they don’t tell you in those studies: Sometimes gratitude looks like standing in your mold-infested bedroom thinking, “Well, at least I get a walk-in closet out of this.”

When we consciously focus on gratitude – even for ridiculous things – our brains release dopamine and serotonin. Dr. Robert Emmons’s research demonstrates that regular gratitude practices can increase these chemical levels by up to 50%.

Translation: Being thankful for disasters literally makes you happier. Science is weird.

The Journey from “Lucky to Be Adopted” to Genuine Gratitude

Let me be clear: I haven’t always been grateful for life’s curveballs. Growing up with an alcoholic mother who regularly reminded my brother and me that we were “lucky to be adopted because your real mothers didn’t want you,” gratitude wasn’t exactly flowing freely.

I’ve been in therapy twice to work through that particular gem of childhood trauma. It took years to transform those wounds into my current morning practice where I genuinely thank my bio parents for giving me up.

That’s not toxic positivity. That’s hard-won appreciation earned through professional help and ugly crying.

My 15-Minute Morning Gratitude Practice (With a Side of Weird)

Every morning, in that quiet time between waking and rising (I don’t use an alarm because I’m 60 and my bladder is more reliable than any clock), I spend about 15 minutes on gratitude.

It starts traditionally enough:

• Thank you for letting me be born in this country
• Thank you for my bio parents giving me up (therapy made this possible)
• Thank you for my parents adopting me

Then it gets specific and sometimes strange:

• Thank you for my job that lets me work from home (no commute!)
• Thank you for saving on dry cleaning
• Thank you for the breeze during Florida’s hellish summers
• Thank you for that Subway being open in the hospital when I forgot to eat

The key isn’t just saying “thank you” – it’s what I call “resting in the feeling.” Actually feeling the gratitude in your body, not just rattling off a list.

Finding Seeds of Equal or Greater Benefit (Thanks, Napoleon Hill)

This practice comes from one of my 118 self-help books. Yes, 118. And yes, I’m grateful for every overpriced one of them.

Speaking of expensive gratitude lessons: I did Amway three times between ages 18-24. Never made a dime. Spent a fortune. But those Amway meetings introduced me to “Think and Grow Rich,” “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” and started my self-help journey.

Napoleon Hill taught me to look for “the seed of equal or greater benefit” in every disaster. It’s become my default setting:

• House in foreclosure (3 times)? Grateful I learned to fight for what matters
• Bankruptcy? Grateful I discovered “it’s just money, I’ll make more”
• Curtis nearly dying? Grateful for ICU nurses who explained vitals during their busy shifts
• Minor fender bender? Grateful it wasn’t worse

When I pass accidents now, I send thoughts of love and support to those involved and feel grateful it wasn’t me. Some people think that’s weird. I think it’s brain chemistry optimization.

The Evolution of Gratitude: From Big to Small

In my 30s, I was grateful for big things – promotions, milestones, achievements. Now at 60, I’m grateful for:

• The Subway sandwich when I’m exhausted in the hospital
• A breeze while walking the dog
• Not having pneumonia (just a regular cough)
• Al waiting until 6:47 AM to text “FML”

Research shows this shift is common. A University of California study found that people who practice “micro-gratitudes” report 45% higher life satisfaction than those waiting for big moments.

When Gratitude Practices Go Hilariously Wrong

Not every attempt at appreciation lands perfectly. I once tried to be grateful for a situation at work that was genuinely terrible. My forced “I’m grateful for this learning opportunity” came out sounding like I was being held hostage and reading from a script.

Sometimes you just need to acknowledge that something sucks before finding the hidden bathroom renovation in it.

The Science Meets the Ridiculous

Studies show that women over 50 who regularly practice appreciation report:

• 45% stronger social connections
• 35% better sleep quality
• 50% higher rates of goal achievement

But here’s what those studies miss: Sometimes appreciation looks like being grateful for mold because it gets you out of an avocado bathroom. Sometimes it’s finding joy in your Amway failure because it introduced you to books that changed your life.

Real gratitude isn’t pretty or logical. It’s messy, weird, and occasionally involves being thankful for disasters.

Your Appreciative Action Plan (Mold Optional)

Week 1: Start Your Morning Practice

• 5-15 minutes upon waking
• Include the traditional AND the weird
• Actually feel the gratitude, don’t just list it

Week 2: Hunt for Hidden Benefits

• Find one disaster from your past
• Dig for the “seed of equal or greater benefit”
• Even if it’s ridiculous (especially if it’s ridiculous)

Week 3: Practice Micro-Gratitudes

• Notice small things: breezes, open Subways, texts after 6:30 AM
• Write down three daily
• Include at least one that would make others say “seriously?”

Week 4: Share Your Weird Gratitude

• Tell someone about your mold-to-bathroom story equivalent
• Watch their face
• Be grateful for their confusion

The Truth About Transformation

As Wayne Dyer (one of my 118 authors) wrote, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

I’m living proof. The girl who was told she was “lucky to be adopted” now genuinely thanks her bio parents each morning. The woman whose house flooded with mold is grateful for her dream bathroom. The Amway triple-failure is thankful for the fortune she lost.

This isn’t about pretending everything is wonderful. It’s about finding the bathroom renovation in the disaster, the book collection in the business failure, the growth in the trauma.

Sometimes that takes therapy. Sometimes it takes $50,000. Sometimes it takes 118 self-help books and three failed Amway attempts.

But eventually, you find yourself grateful for the strangest things. And according to Harvard, your brain literally changes because of it.

Your gratitude might never make sense to others. You might find yourself thankful for mold, grateful for insurance companies that drop you, or appreciative of sliding glass bathroom doors that led to their own destruction.

That’s not crazy. That’s neuroplasticity in action.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go appreciate my bathroom. All $50,000 worth of it.

Join our community of women who find gratitude in the weirdest places. Share your most ridiculous gratitude story below – the more absurd, the better. Bonus points if it involves home disasters, failed business ventures, or bathroom renovations.

P.S. To the insurance company who said we “should have known” about the leak in our walls: I’m grateful you dropped us. We found better coverage and I got a killer bathroom story out of it.