Today I Choose to be Centered – How to be Centered

Being centered isn’t about never getting knocked off balance. It’s about recognizing when you’ve been swept away by other people’s chaos and choosing to respond instead of react.

It was 2:47 PM on a Wednesday when I realized I had completely lost my center.

I was standing in my office, phone pressed to my ear, fielding the fourth “urgent” crisis of the day, when I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of my computer screen. Wild hair. Tense shoulders. That slightly manic look of someone who’s been reacting to everything and responding to nothing.

The morning had started with an email marked “URGENT” about a project that needed to be completely redone. By noon, I’d handled three more “emergencies,” rescheduled two meetings, and said yes to a last-minute request that I knew would keep me working late.

Everyone else’s important and urgent had become my important and urgent.

And somewhere in all that reacting, I’d lost myself completely.

That’s when I learned the most valuable lesson about staying centered: You only find your center after you’ve been knocked off it.

The Difference Between Reacting and Responding

When you’re reacting, you’re operating from a place of urgency and emotion. Someone says jump, and you ask how high. An email comes in marked “URGENT,” and you drop everything. A crisis emerges, and you immediately go into firefighting mode.

When you’re responding, you pause. You assess. You choose your next action from a place of clarity and intention rather than panic and pressure.

The difference is subtle but life-changing.

What Reacting Looks Like:

• Immediate emotional response to external triggers
• Making decisions based on urgency rather than importance
• Feeling controlled by circumstances and other people’s priorities
• Physical tension, shallow breathing, racing thoughts
• Saying yes when you mean no because you feel pressured
• Operating in constant crisis mode
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

What Responding Looks Like:

• Taking a pause before acting, even a brief one
• Asking: “Is this truly urgent, or just labeled that way?”
• Choosing actions that align with your values and priorities
• Staying physically relaxed and mentally clear
• Communicating boundaries with kindness but firmness
• Operating from a place of choice rather than compulsion
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

My Wednesday Afternoon Wake-Up Call

Back to that Wednesday when I caught myself in the computer screen reflection. Something about seeing myself so visibly frazzled was like a cold splash of water.

I finished the phone call—graciously but without the usual over-apologizing and over-promising—and did something radical:

I closed my office door and sat down.

Not to work on the urgent projects or return the seventeen missed calls. Just to sit. To breathe. To find my center again.

That’s when I realized what had happened. Over the course of the morning, I had gradually handed over control of my day to everyone else. Each urgent request had felt legitimate in the moment, but added together, they had completely derailed my actual priorities.

I wasn’t being helpful. I was being reactive.

The Urgency Addiction

Here’s what I’ve learned about urgency: it’s addictive. When someone tells you something is urgent, you feel important. Needed. Essential.

But urgency and importance are not the same thing.

Something can be urgent to someone else without being important to your goals, your values, or your well-being. And something can be deeply important without requiring immediate action.

The centered person knows the difference.

The Eisenhower Matrix in Real Life

You’ve probably heard of the Eisenhower Matrix—that tool for categorizing tasks by urgency and importance. Here’s how it works in practice:

Important + Urgent: True crises that need immediate attention
Important + Not Urgent: Strategic work that builds your future
Not Important + Urgent: Other people’s priorities disguised as your emergencies
Not Important + Not Urgent: Time-wasters and distractions

The problem is that most of us operate as if everything urgent is also important. But often, urgent just means someone else failed to plan ahead.

Building Your Centered Response System

Being centered doesn’t mean being slow to act or unresponsive to genuine needs. It means having a system for making clear-headed decisions about where to put your energy.

The Pause Practice

When someone presents you with an “urgent” request, try this:

1. Pause: “Let me check my calendar and get back to you in [timeframe]”
2. Assess: Is this truly urgent? Important? Whose priority is this really?
3. Choose: Respond based on your values and capacity, not just their urgency

Even a five-minute pause can prevent hours of reactive scrambling.

The Centering Breath

When you feel yourself getting pulled into reactive mode:

1. Take three deep breaths
2. Feel your feet on the ground
3. Ask: “What would a centered person do here?”
4. Choose your response from that place

The Boundary Scripts

Having phrases ready helps you respond calmly instead of reactively:

• “I want to give this the attention it deserves. Let me review and get back to you by [time].”
• “I have a full plate today. Can we schedule time to discuss this properly?”
• “That sounds important. Who else might be available to help with this?”
• “I’m not able to take this on right now, but here’s what I can offer…”
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

The Physical Side of Being Centered

Being centered isn’t just mental—it’s physical. Your body holds the wisdom of whether you’re in reactive mode or responsive mode.

Signs You’re in Reactive Mode:

• Shallow breathing or holding your breath
• Tight shoulders, clenched jaw, or hunched posture
• Racing heart or feeling jittery
• Difficulty concentrating or racing thoughts
• Physical tension in stomach or chest
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

Signs You’re Centered:

• Deep, natural breathing
• Relaxed but alert posture
• Calm, steady heartbeat
• Clear thinking and easy decision-making
• Feeling grounded and stable
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

Quick Physical Centering Techniques:

• The 4-7-8 Breath: Inhale for 4, hold for 7, exhale for 8
• Shoulder Drops: Lift shoulders to ears, then consciously relax them
• Grounding: Feel your feet on the floor, imagine roots growing down
• Progressive Relaxation: Tense and release each muscle group
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

When Your Job Is Chaos

“That’s easy to say,” you might be thinking, “but my job actually IS putting out fires all day.”

I get it. Some roles are inherently reactive. But even in high-urgency environments, you can develop a centered approach:

For the Natural Helpers:

• Schedule “availability windows” instead of being on-call 24/7
• Teach others to solve problems before coming to you
• Distinguish between genuine emergencies and poor planning
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

For the Managers and Leaders:

• Model centered responses—your team follows your lead
• Create systems that prevent urgent from becoming crisis
• Question whether “urgent” requests truly can’t wait
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

For the Overwhelmed Employees:

• Communicate capacity honestly: “I can do X or Y well, but not both”
• Document everything so you can track patterns of urgency
• Find small moments to center yourself throughout the day
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

The Centered Person’s Daily Practice

Morning Centering:

• Start with 5 minutes of quiet before checking devices
• Set intentions for how you want to respond to challenges
• Review your actual priorities (not just your task list)
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

Throughout the Day:

• Check in with your body every few hours
• Pause before saying yes to requests
• Ask: “Am I responding or reacting?” when stressed
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

Evening Reflection:

• What knocked you off center today?
• What helped you find it again?
• What would you do differently tomorrow?
• → Today I Choose to be Calm

The Paradox of Centered Productivity

Here’s what surprised me about becoming more centered: I didn’t get less done. I got more done—and I felt better doing it.

When you stop reacting to every urgent request, you have more energy for important work. When you respond thoughtfully instead of immediately, you make better decisions. When you stay grounded in your own priorities, you actually become more helpful to others.

Being centered isn’t about being slow or unresponsive. It’s about being intentional.

Your Center Is Always Available

The beautiful thing about being centered is that your center is always there, waiting for you to return to it. You don’t have to earn it or achieve it—you just have to remember it.

Every breath is an opportunity to center yourself.

Every pause is a chance to choose response over reaction.

Every moment is a new beginning.

That Wednesday afternoon when I caught myself in the computer screen reflection? It wasn’t a failure—it was a gift. A reminder that I had wandered from my center and an invitation to find my way back.

Start with One Pause

Tomorrow, when someone presents you with something “urgent,” try this:

Take one breath before responding.

That’s it. One conscious breath between stimulus and response.

In that breath, ask yourself: “Is this truly urgent, or just labeled that way?”

Then choose your response from a place of centeredness instead of reactivity.

Because in the end, being centered isn’t about having a life without storms. It’s about being the kind of person who can stand steady in the wind.

Susie Adriance is the founder of Enlightenzz and author of “Today I Choose to Be.” She learned the art of staying centered during years of managing competing priorities and other people’s urgent requests.

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• → Today I Choose to be Calm

Comment below: What helps you find your center when life gets chaotic? I’d love to learn from your experience!