Today I Choose to be Balanced – How to be Balanced

Every year, my resolution is to achieve work-life balance. Every year, I fail – at least in terms of hours worked. But here’s what I’ve discovered: balance isn’t about perfect 8-hour days and yoga retreats. It’s about scallions on eggs and chickens named Steve Chicks.

This morning, Curtis brought eggs to my desk so I could keep working. Classic workaholic enablement. But I stopped and said, “No, let’s eat at the table.” The eggs looked lonely on the plate, so I grabbed a scallion and cut slices on top, elevating our egg game and garnering giggles. Curtis got playful and piled on some of the macaroni salad his stepdad Curt made. I snapped a photo to send to Curt and Marjorie, which led to a warm phone call where Curt really felt our gratitude.

The entire thing took 10 minutes. But that was balance. That was opening up enough room to have those moments.

The Science of Micro-Balance

Research shows that small moments of connection and mindfulness can reduce cortisol levels by up to 23%. But here’s what the studies don’t capture: sometimes those moments involve macaroni salad at breakfast and grateful in-laws on the phone.

A therapist once told me I have high-functioning anxiety and that my workaholism is my coping mechanism. Until she said that, I never thought I had any type of anxiety. Hey, the mechanism was working! Sobering but elucidating. Now I understand it better and can make more conscious decisions.

When Balance Flies Out the Window (Along with Your Blood Pressure)

I know I’m writing about how to have balance, but that doesn’t mean I live there always. Too often, I get sucked into the maelstrom that is Al’s emotional upheaval. My heart rate rises, shoulders rise, and I work furiously into the night to fix whatever’s burning.

Perfect case in point: We got news of a revocation for one of our DME’s PTANs. A wash of horror and guilt that I hadn’t revalidated the company washed over me. I panicked, quickly filling out a revalidation form, trying to fix this issue.

The actual revocation letter arrived hours later. It wasn’t my fault. It wasn’t a revalidation issue. It was something else entirely – and entirely fixable. My initial fight-or-flight response was unnecessary and ineffective. A more balanced approach would have been to collect data, assess the situation, and devise a strategy, not fly off the handle fixing things that weren’t broken.

The Secret to Stress Recovery: Sad Eeyore-Chicken Little Portraits

When I realize I’m in full stress response after Al’s calls – faster breathing, heart rate up, blood pressure climbing – I have a secret weapon. I look up at my rendering of Al on the wall: a sad Eeyore head on a Chicken Little body with a rain cloud overhead and a dropped ice cream cone on the ground.

I chuckle. If it’s really bad, I do box breathing. But mostly, that portrait reminds me that this too shall pass. We’re still going after 10 years.

Chicken Therapy: The New Work-Life Balance

Since May, we’ve had chickens – a conscious balance decision. We actually sit in their enclosed area, feeding them grapes and watching their very different personalities.

Lelu is a badass, just like her namesake. Steve Chicks is definitely a rocker chick who rules the roost. Morticia is delightfully aloof, sitting at the coop door each night, surveying and keeping watch.

Playing with chickens as a balance practice wasn’t in any of my 118 self-help books, but it works. There’s something about their complete disregard for DME revocations and quarterly reports that puts everything in perspective.

The 3-Week Vacation Revelation

This year, I took my first 3-week vacation ever. (Yes, I worked during it, but hey – progress!) What shifted? Curtis almost dying. I realized we’re not guaranteed tomorrow. I didn’t want to backburner those bucket list items anymore.

That’s the real science of balance – not productivity hacks but mortality clarity.

What Balance Actually Looks Like at 60

Over the past 10 years, I’ve managed to work more balance into my everyday. It’s not what I thought it would look like – 8 hours of work, working out 4 times a week, self-care days. Instead, it’s:

• Doing something for myself before starting work
• Stopping to take a break and play with chickens
• Finding time to be present for a conversation
• Taking time to eat and actually taste my food
• Looking at my secret Al portrait when stress hits

It’s not grand balancing. It’s little tweaks that bring me closer.

The Family Perspective (Spoiler: They’re Not Impressed)

Curtis and Tyler absolutely see my balance differently. Neither would say I have any balance at all – their motivation levels differ from mine significantly. Curtis will force me to get up from the computer. Tyler will gently remind me that I’m not curing cancer and to take some time to just be.

They’re right, of course. But they also don’t have Al texting “FML” before dawn or DME revocation panics or 18 companies to manage.

The Science of Why This Works

Studies show that women over 50 who practice “micro-balance” – brief moments of mindfulness and connection – report 40% better stress management than those pursuing traditional work-life balance. Why? Because it’s actually achievable.

When I stop to eat breakfast and have that scallion moment, my mood improves and my shoulders drop. If I don’t find these balance moments, I lose valuable resources. The science backs this up: even 30-second breaks can reset our nervous system.

Your Real-World Balance Action Plan

Week 1: Identify Your Scallion Moments

• What tiny additions make ordinary moments special?
• Where can you insert 10-minute connections?
• Track mood before and after

Week 2: Create Your Stress Portrait

• Draw your biggest stressor as a ridiculous character
• Use it as a visual circuit breaker
• Add box breathing if needed

Week 3: Find Your Chickens

• What completely non-work activity grounds you?
• Schedule it like a meeting
• Notice the perspective shift

Week 4: Practice Mortality Clarity

• What would you regret not doing?
• Take one small step toward it
• Even if you work during your vacation

The Truth About Balance with High-Functioning Anxiety

Here’s what I’ve learned: If you keep making the same work-life balance resolution every year, at least you’re acknowledging the issue. It will never get better if you don’t intend to do something about it, and conceivably could get worse.

My unnecessary guilt and “not enough-ness” drive my long days. But now that I understand my workaholism is actually high-functioning anxiety, I can make better conscious decisions. Like carving out time for meaningful projects. Like garnishing eggs. Like sitting with chickens.

Balance at 60 with 18 companies isn’t about achieving perfect equilibrium. It’s about finding moments of connection amid the chaos. It’s about having a secret portrait of your stress-inducing boss as a depressed cartoon character. It’s about chickens who don’t care about your PTANs.

Most importantly, it’s about realizing that we’re not guaranteed tomorrow, so maybe that scallion on the eggs matters more than the spreadsheet.

Even if you still work 10-12 hour days. Even if your family thinks you have no balance at all. Even if you’re writing about balance while simultaneously checking emails.

At least the chickens think you’re balanced. And Steve Chicks rules the roost, so her opinion counts.

Join our community of women finding balance between DME revocations and chicken therapy. Share your best micro-balance moment or your most ridiculous stress-relief technique below.

P.S. If anyone needs me, I’ll be with the chickens. Or looking at my Eeyore-Chicken Little portrait. Or possibly both.