Today I Choose to be Developing – How to be Developing

Developing is rarely glamorous—it’s messy, humbling, and often filled with more drafts than finished products.

When I first bought the Enlightenzz domain nearly a decade ago, I thought I was brilliant. I hit publish on blog posts that, in hindsight, make me cringe. The writing was clunky, the ideas half-formed, the designs… well, let’s just say Canva and I hadn’t yet become friends.

But here’s the thing: that was part of my development.

Fast forward to today, and I can see how much has changed. My writing flows more naturally, my ideas go deeper, and I’ve built entire calendars, books, and social media projects around this one seed of an idea. What surprised me most wasn’t just the improvement in skills—it was how much I developed in the process. I became more reflective, more intentional, more resilient.

I can still picture the nights when it didn’t feel like progress. Sitting at my desk at 10 p.m., blue light glaring from my laptop, the hum of the dishwasher in the background, frustration buzzing in my chest because another draft didn’t land the way I wanted.

But those nights were the scaffolding. Without them, there wouldn’t be anything solid to stand on now.

The Truth About Developing

That’s the essence of developing—it’s not instant transformation, it’s steady shaping over time. It’s about showing up through the awkward drafts, the late nights, and the false starts, trusting that each version builds toward something stronger.

Developing isn’t about having arrived; it’s about becoming.

What I’ve learned through building Enlightenzz is that development happens in layers:

• The cringe layer – where everything you create makes you wince later
• The competent layer – where things work but lack spark
• The confident layer – where your voice emerges
• The contribution layer – where you create value for others
• The continuous layer – where you realize you’re never done developing

How to Be Developing

Being in a state of development requires embracing the uncomfortable middle ground between who you were and who you’re becoming.

Start Before You’re Ready

I published those cringe-worthy blog posts because waiting for perfection means never starting. Development requires material to work with—even if that material is rough.

Remember my first Enlightenzz posts? They were trying so hard to sound wise that they lost authenticity. But without those awkward attempts, I never would have found my real voice.

Starting before you’re ready means:

• Publishing the imperfect blog post
• Taking the class despite feeling too old
• Launching the project while still learning
• Speaking up in meetings before having all answers
• Creating something that might fail

Track Your Progress

Development feels invisible day-to-day. It’s only when you look back that you see the distance traveled.

I keep a folder of old Enlightenzz designs and posts. When I’m frustrated with current progress, I look back at where I started. The contrast is shocking—and encouraging.

Ways to make development visible:

• Keep a development journal – weekly entries about what you’re learning
• Save early versions – of projects, writing, artwork
• Document milestones – first sale, first compliment, first breakthrough
• Take progress photos – visual evidence of change
• Note skill acquisitions – “learned Canva,” “understood SEO”

Embrace the Awkward Middle

Most of developing happens in what I call the “awkward middle”—you’re no longer a beginner but not yet proficient. This is where most people quit.

With Enlightenzz, the awkward middle lasted years. I knew enough to see what was wrong but not enough to fix it elegantly. Posts were better but still missing something. Designs were improving but still amateur.

The awkward middle is where the real development happens:

• Your taste exceeds your ability (temporarily)
• You see problems everywhere
• Progress feels glacial
• Comparison to others is painful
• Doubt becomes a constant companion

This is normal. This is the work. Those late nights at my laptop, that frustration buzzing in my chest—that was development in action.

Find Your Development Rhythm

Development isn’t linear. It happens in spurts, plateaus, and occasionally, backwards slides.

My Enlightenzz development rhythm looks like:

• Intense learning periods – diving deep into new skills
• Implementation phases – applying what I’ve learned
• Reflection pauses – assessing what’s working
• Pruning seasons – removing what doesn’t serve
• Integration times – letting new skills become natural

Develop in Community

Isolation kills development. You need mirrors—people who reflect back your growth and blind spots.

For Enlightenzz, this meant:

• Joining writing groups (terrifying at first)
• Asking readers for honest feedback
• Finding mentors who’d traveled similar paths
• Connecting with other creators at similar stages
• Sharing work before it felt ready

The Physical Experience of Developing

Development has a physical signature. After a decade with Enlightenzz, I recognize the sensations:

• The creative tension – tight shoulders when pushing into new territory
• The breakthrough exhale – when something finally clicks
• The learning headache – from absorbing too much too fast
• The excitement flutter – when seeing possibility
• The resistance heaviness – when avoiding the next step

That blue light from my laptop, the dishwasher humming, the frustration buzzing—these are the physical markers of development. They’re not comfortable, but they’re familiar now. They mean I’m growing.

Common Development Blocks

After years of developing Enlightenzz, I’ve identified the usual suspects that halt progress:

Perfectionism Paralysis

Waiting for the perfect post, perfect design, perfect moment. Meanwhile, nothing gets created. Those early cringe posts taught me that done beats perfect.

Comparison Quicksand

Looking at others’ Chapter 20 while you’re on Chapter 2. Every successful blog was once as clunky as my early Enlightenzz attempts.

Resource Scarcity Mindset

Believing you need more—more time, money, knowledge—before developing. I built Enlightenzz with free tools and stolen moments.

Identity Attachment

Clinging to who you were instead of who you’re becoming. Letting go of “I’m not creative” to embrace “I’m learning to create.”

The Long Game of Development

Ten years ago, buying that domain felt like such a small step. Now Enlightenzz encompasses books, calendars, thousands of posts, a community. But it didn’t happen overnight.

Development is about playing the long game:

• Small improvements compound over time
• Skills build upon each other
• Confidence grows through repetition
• Voice emerges through practice
• Vision clarifies through action

Those late nights of frustration? They were deposits in my development account. Every clunky sentence rewritten, every design redone, every post that missed the mark—they were all investments in who I was becoming.

Your Invitation to Develop

What’s calling you to develop? What skill, project, or aspect of yourself wants to grow?

Maybe it’s:

• The blog you’ve been thinking about for years
• The art practice you abandoned decades ago
• The business idea that won’t leave you alone
• The relationship pattern you want to change
• The health habits you’re ready to build

Start where you are. Start badly if necessary. Start with one small step toward who you’re becoming.

Remember: every expert was once disaster at their craft. Every beautiful creation has an archive of ugly drafts. Every developed person has a trail of awkward attempts behind them.

Development isn’t about arriving somewhere. It’s about being willing to be in process, to be unfinished, to be becoming.

As I look at Enlightenzz now versus that first domain purchase, I see the power of sustained development. But I also know I’m still developing. There are still nights at my desk, still frustrations with drafts, still so much to learn.

That’s the beauty of choosing to be developing—you’re never done, which means you’re always alive to possibility.

The awkward drafts, the late nights, the false starts—they’re not obstacles to development. They ARE development.

Welcome to the messy, humbling, beautiful process of becoming.