Today I Choose to be Trustworthy – How to be Trustworthy

Trustworthiness doesn’t show up in grand gestures—it starts in the smallest of places. Returning a phone call when you said you would. Showing up five minutes early instead of five minutes late. Following through on the tiny promise you made in passing. These micro-commitments, these barely-noticed actions, are the foundation of trust.

I’ve learned this as CFO, where my word is my currency. Every report delivered on time, every number verified twice, every difficult truth shared even when it’s unpopular—these build the trust bank account. But here’s what I didn’t expect: the hardest part of being trustworthy isn’t keeping promises. It’s having the courage to deliver bad news when everyone wants to hear good news. Being the one who says “we can’t afford that” or “these projections are unrealistic” when optimism is running high.

Trust isn’t just about doing what you say you’ll do. It’s about saying what needs to be said, even when it makes you unpopular. It’s choosing accuracy over agreement, truth over comfort, reliability over being liked.

The Architecture of Trust

Trust is built like a cathedral—stone by stone, over years. One missed deadline might not topple it, but enough small cracks will bring it down. I’ve watched colleagues destroy decades of credibility with one hidden mistake they tried to cover up, when admitting the error would have barely dented their reputation.

The architecture of trust has three pillars: competence (can you do what you say?), consistency (will you do it every time?), and character (will you do it even when it costs you?). Most people focus on competence. But it’s consistency and character that make you truly trustworthy.

What Being Trustworthy Actually Feels Like

In your body, trustworthiness feels solid. There’s no twist in your gut from promises you might not keep, no tension from stories that don’t quite match. Your shoulders are relaxed because you’re not carrying the weight of deception. You sleep better because you’re not worried about being found out.

But it also feels vulnerable. When you’re trustworthy, you can’t hide behind excuses or shift blame. You own your mistakes publicly. You deliver hard truths that make people uncomfortable. You risk being the bearer of bad news, the party pooper, the one who breaks the spell of wishful thinking.

The Myths About Trustworthiness

Myth: Trustworthy people never make mistakes.
Reality: I make mistakes regularly. But I admit them immediately, fix them transparently, and share what I learned. That builds more trust than perfection ever could.

Myth: Being trustworthy means being agreeable.
Reality: Some of my most trustworthy moments were when I disagreed publicly, challenged the consensus, or refused to sign off on something questionable.

Myth: Trust is built through big moments.
Reality: Trust is built through a thousand tiny moments. Calling when you said you would matters more than grand promises.

Myth: Once broken, trust can’t be rebuilt.
Reality: Trust can be rebuilt, but it takes ten times longer the second time and requires absolute consistency.

The Hidden Costs of Being Trustworthy

The Unpopularity Tax
Being the CFO who says “we can’t afford that” doesn’t win popularity contests. I’ve been called pessimistic, negative, a dream-killer. But when the numbers prove right, those same people trust my next assessment.

The Energy Drain
Being trustworthy means you can’t take shortcuts. Double-checking numbers, following up on commitments, keeping detailed records—it all takes more time and energy than winging it.

The Vulnerability Requirement
You have to admit when you don’t know something, when you’ve made an error, when you’ve changed your mind based on new information. That vulnerability is uncomfortable but essential.

The Relationship Strain
Sometimes being trustworthy means telling friends hard truths they don’t want to hear. I’ve strained relationships by being honest about financial realities when people wanted enablement.

Building Trustworthiness Through Micro-Actions

Start Stupidly Small
If you say you’ll email something, do it within 24 hours. If you say you’ll call, call. These tiny follow-throughs train both you and others that your word means something.

Under-Promise, Over-Deliver
I learned to say “I’ll have it to you by Friday” when I know I can do Wednesday. Building in buffer protects your reliability.

Document Everything
Not from paranoia, but from professionalism. When you can show the trail of your work, your thinking, your decision-making, trust follows.

Admit Mistakes Fast
The moment you realize you’ve made an error, own it. The cover-up is always worse than the crime.

Say No When You Mean No
Don’t say maybe when you mean no. Don’t agree to things you can’t or won’t do. Clear boundaries build trust.

Trustworthiness in Different Roles

As a Leader
Your team needs to trust that you’ll advocate for them, tell them the truth about company changes, and admit when you don’t have answers. They don’t need you to be perfect; they need you to be real.

As a Partner
After 25+ years with Curtis, trust means he knows I’ll tell him if something’s wrong, that I won’t let resentment fester, that my “I’m fine” actually means I’m fine.

As a Parent
My adult children trust me to respect their boundaries, to not share their secrets, to be the same person privately that I am publicly.

As a Friend
Trust means they can tell me anything without it becoming gossip, that I’ll show up when I say I will, that my advice comes from love not judgment.

As a Professional
Every report, every analysis, every projection carries my reputation. One fudged number to make things look better would destroy years of credibility.

The Compound Effect of Trustworthiness

Here’s what twenty years of micro-commitments have built: When I present financials now, no one questions the numbers. When I flag a concern, people listen. When I say something is possible, they believe it. When I say it’s not, they accept it.

This trust didn’t come from one brilliant analysis or one saved crisis. It came from thousands of pequeño moments—every call returned, every deadline met, every hard truth delivered with care but without sugar-coating.

When Being Trustworthy Gets Complicated

Competing Loyalties
Sometimes being trustworthy to one person means disappointing another. When the CEO wants optimistic projections but the board needs realistic ones, trustworthiness means choosing truth over any individual relationship.

Confidentiality Conflicts
As CFO, I often know things I can’t share. Being trustworthy means holding those secrets even when transparency would be easier.

The Partial Truth Dilemma
Sometimes you can’t tell the whole truth (legal reasons, timing issues, confidentiality). Being trustworthy means being clear that you can’t be fully transparent, rather than pretending you are.

The Paradox of Trustworthiness

The more trustworthy you become, the more people want to burden you with their secrets, their problems, their responsibilities. You become the keeper of confidences, the bearer of bad news, the one everyone counts on. It’s both an honor and a weight.

I’ve learned to be selective about what I take on, because being trustworthy also means knowing your limits. Saying “I can’t commit to that right now” is more trustworthy than saying yes and failing to deliver.

Rebuilding Trust After Breaking It

I once missed a critical board report deadline because I’d overcommitted. Instead of making excuses, I:

• Immediately informed all stakeholders
• Took full responsibility without excuses
• Presented a plan to prevent future occurrences
• Delivered early for the next six months straight
• Never missed another deadline in five years

Trust was rebuilt, but it took consistent perfection for months to repair one mistake.

The Quiet Power of Being Trusted

When you’re genuinely trustworthy, something shifts. People stop double-checking your work. They accept your assessments. They come to you with real problems, not sanitized versions. They trust you with their fears, their mistakes, their uncertainties.

This trust becomes a form of influence more powerful than any title. When the trustworthy person speaks, everyone listens—not because they have to, but because experience has taught them to.

Today’s Choice

Today, choose to be trustworthy in the smallest way. Return that call you’ve been putting off. Admit that mistake you’ve been hiding. Tell that difficult truth you’ve been avoiding. Follow through on that casual promise you made.

Remember: Trust isn’t built in the boardroom or in crisis moments. It’s built in the barely-noticed micro-commitments, the small follow-throughs, the quiet consistency of doing what you said you’d do.

And yes, sometimes being trustworthy means being the unpopular voice of reality in a room full of optimism. But I’d rather be trusted than liked, because trust lasts longer than popularity ever will.